


I Like To Keep Some Things To Myself

by AshesStarsAndRedStringsOfFate



Series: Sanders Sides Inktober 2018 [20]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Autistic Logan, Crying, Cuddling, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Potions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-19 19:49:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16541051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshesStarsAndRedStringsOfFate/pseuds/AshesStarsAndRedStringsOfFate
Summary: He’d finally had enough. He’d finally reached the point where he was sick of not belonging in his relationship. So, he decides to do something about it: he makes a potion to make himself the ideal boyfriend. His famILY tries to fix it.Written for Inktober Day 20: Liquid.





	I Like To Keep Some Things To Myself

**Author's Note:**

> … Screw my Internet. Screw one of my fellow clarinet players for giving me a panic attack on the day of my concert. Screw my parents. ACK. Sorry, had to get that off my chest. And now I’m projecting onto Logan again… what is wrong with me? Anyway, thank you for reading! Enjoy!

Logan gulped as he looked at the ominously shining liquid in the glass bottle gripped between his hands. Doubt and fear gripped his heart, and some voice, some instinct for self-preservation, whispered to him that maybe he shouldn't drink the bottle’s contents. He shook off that voice, however; he needed to do this, not for himself, but for his boyfriends. He wasn’t contributing enough, and he knew, even though they never told him, that they were constantly frustrated with his lack of emotional intelligence. So, he had to do this. For them. 

 

 

Before the nerves could kick back in, he tipped the entire bottle into his mouth and swallowed, flinching at the viscous texture of the liquid as it slid down this throat. It was hot and cold at the same time, it was bitter and sour and sweet and salty, it was nauseating and soothing; it was horrible. 

 

 

For a minute, Logan just stood there. He slowly lowered the empty bottle to his side before placing it on the desk. The experiment was obviously a failure, he didn’t know what he was thinking, why did he ever think this would work… But then his vision began to darken, his legs wobbled, and his heartrate shot through the roof, and he knew that it was working. That was good, he might finally make the others happy. He fell unconscious to the floor with that idea stuck in his mind as he smiled. He’d finally managed to do something right.

* * *

 

“Should I go get Logan? He’s late for breakfast,” Virgil asked, worrying his hoodie strings between his teeth. It was already nine in the morning, and Logan was usually down by now, but he wasn’t, and that was concerning. And when something was wrong, especially with one of his boyfriends acting strangely, Virgil’s anxiety shot through the roof. 

 

 

“I’ll get him, Virge. Don’t worry,” Roman soothed, smoothly rising from his chair to go get his nerdy boyfriend. Roman, although he would never admit it, was worried for Logan too, and he needed to physically reassure himself that Logan was okay. 

 

 

“No worries, Roman, Virgil! I’m here!” a cheery voice called from the doorway. Roman and Virgil whipped around, jaws dropping as they noticed who was standing there. Logan. But not Logan. Instead of his usual crisp shirt, tie, and slacks, he wore a flowy star-patterned dress with star-patterned tights. Star clips pulled his dark bangs back from his face, and even though he looked absolutely adorable, Virgil and Roman both came to the silent agreement that this was  _ not  _ Logan. 

 

 

“Good morning, Logan,” Roman offered, his words stretched out in uncertainty. Logan blinked and cocked his head to the side, that uncomfortable smile never leaving his face. 

 

 

“What’s wrong, Roman?” Logan asked, gently grasping Roman’s hand in his. “Please tell me what’s wrong.” Okay, this seriously wasn’t Logan, and both Roman and Virgil were freaking out at this point. Something was wrong, and they would both like their boyfriend back, please and thank you. 

 

 

“Morning, kiddos! And ooh, Logan, I love the dress!” Patton’s voice sang from the doorway. Roman and Virgil glanced up, eyes wide and pleading, as the bubbly one bounced in, smile blindingly bright. Logan pulled his hands out of Roman’s and spun around, beaming at Patton (wrong wrong wrong  _ wrong  _ **_wrong_ ** ), and Patton paused, the smile dropping off his face. 

 

 

“Good morning, Patton! Would you like to watch a movie today?” Logan asked, clasping his hands together. Normally, Patton and Roman would be ecstatic about Logan taking an interest in socializing. However, when he was acting this weird, this  **_off_ ** , it was anything but comforting. 

 

 

“Um… sure… but Logan, are you feeling okay, sweetie?” Patton asked, carefully stepping towards Logan. Logan blinked, obviously confused, and gave Patton a soft smile. 

 

 

“I’m fine, Patton, why would you think otherwise?” 

 

 

“Because you’re acting completely different than you normally do! Seriously, Lo, what’s going on?!” Virgil cut in harshly, glaring at his boyfriend. He stepped forward, and Logan stepped back, the smile finally beginning to drop as his eyes widened in shock. His hands started to tremble, and Virgil felt extremely guilty as soon as he noticed. Logan was getting close to a shutdown; the hands trembling was the first sign, and Virgil had caused that, oh shit he was a horrible boyfriend, how should he  _ fix this _ … 

 

 

“I… I thought you’d like the change…” Logan stuttered, his breathing heavy. “I… I thought you would all be happy.” Patton’s heart shattered at that, and he slowly stepped forward, every instinct screaming at him to comfort his boyfriend. 

 

 

“Oh, Logan, honey… It’s okay, I’m sorry, come here,” Patton soothed, wrapping his smaller boyfriend into a tight hug. Logan broke, crying into Patton’s soft cat hoodie. Both Roman and Virgil dashed over and wrapped around Logan as well, attempting to send all the love and affection they possibly could into his body. Patton, Roman, and Virgil all looked at each other and silently agreed that they needed to get Logan into a more comfortable position, aka the couch. The three awkwardly shuffled out to the living room, none of them willing to relinquish their grips on their crying boyfriend. Finally, Roman felt the back of his knees crash into the couch, and he sat down, allowing everyone else to adjust around him. They then resumed comforting Logan, who was still crying, curled up into a little ball in between all of them. Eventually, though, Logan calmed down, and then Virgil asked the question that had been on all of their minds. 

 

 

“Logan? What did you mean by… you thought we’d be happy with the change?” Logan stiffened, and his three boyfriends immediately began plotting murder against anyone who had made Logan think that he needed to change. 

 

 

“Well… I-I noticed that you all seemed… extremely frustrated by my lack of emotional intelligence, and so… I devised a potion that would… fix that,” Logan whispered. Virgil, Roman, and Patton simultaneously felt their hearts break. Logan thought… he thought that they wanted him to be more like them. He thought they wanted him to change. He… he thought that they wanted him  _ fixed _ . 

 

 

“Oh, honey, no, we would never want that,” Patton whispered, running his fingers through the parts of Logan’s hair that weren’t bound up in clips. 

 

 

“Yeah, Logan, we don’t want you to change. You’re perfect just the way you are!” Roman exclaimed, pulling Logan tighter against his chest. 

 

 

“You bring a lot of unique perspectives to this relationship, Lo, and we wouldn’t be the same without you,” Virgil finished, pecking Logan on the cheek. Logan’s tears finally stopped, and he looked up, that odd, unnatural smile from earlier returning. Virgil felt his heart sink. That potion Logan talked about was obviously taking control again. 

 

 

“Yes, well, be that as it may, things will be better now! My apologies for postponing breakfast, but I’m fine!” Logan chirped, wiggling out of the hold and bouncing off towards the kitchen. The other three exchanged panicked looks. How were they going to fix this? 

 

 

“Yeah, I’ll be back in a minute, I forgot something in my room,” Virgil drawled, smoothly standing up. He was determined to go find a way to fix this, even if he had to go deep into the Imagination to find it. 

 

 

“‘Kay, kiddo!” Patton replied, his voice bubbly but his eyes serious. Virgil nodded and sunk out, leaving Patton and Roman to deal with Logan. He appeared in Logan’s room and immediately began to look around. His eyes landed on Logan’s desk, specifically two bottles that he didn’t remember being there the last time he was in this room. One was empty, with traces of a viscous light pinkish-indigo liquid remaining inside. The other one, however, was full, containing a deep turquoise liquid. Virgil quickly walked over, confident that he’d found the solution. A quick scan of Logan’s notes revealed that yes, the turquoise liquid would in fact reverse the effects of the other one. Logan had created it just in case something went wrong. Well, if this didn’t constitute something going wrong, Virgil thought, he didn’t know what did. He grabbed the bottle and sunk back into the kitchen, appearing at his normal spot. Patton and Logan stood at the counter, making waffles and giggling together. Roman was just finishing up a pot of coffee when he saw Virgil, his red eyes flooding in relief when Virgil held up the bottle. Roman quickly poured everyone a mug and set it them on the table, and Virgil quickly dumped the contents of the bottle into Logan’s coffee mug while the logical Side had his back turned. Yeah, normally he’d protest doing this, but this was to help Logan. 

 

 

The waffles were ready in only a couple minutes, and Logan walked over to the table, beaming. Virgil swallowed down the lump that was screaming at him to fix this and smiled back. “Thanks, Lo, these look great.”

 

 

“Oh, thank you Virgil!” Logan replied, pride shining in his dark blue eyes. Everyone quickly served themself breakfast, and Virgil kept a careful eye on Logan as he sipped his coffee. As soon as he finished his mug, Logan paused, staring down at the empty mug in confusion. 

 

 

“Lo…?” Roman asked while Patton carefully pried the mug out of Logan’s hands. 

 

 

“I feel… weird…” Logan mumbled, and then his eyes rolled back into his head as he collapsed.

* * *

 

Logan blinked awake some indeterminate amount of time later, his head pounding. What had happened? He sat up, groaning, and ran his fingers through his hair, pausing as his hand brushed something smooth and solid. He gently yanked it out of his hair to inspect it. A star clip. The events of the past hour or so rushed back to him, and he gasped, the clip slipping between shaking fingers. He had… he had done it. So why then did he feel… like he had before?

 

 

“Lolo? You feeling okay?” Patton asked from somewhere around Logan’s head. He tilted his head to get a better look and found the moral Side sitting next to him on the couch, worry filling his light blue eyes. 

 

 

“Patton. May I inquire as to what has transpired since I last awoke?” Logan asked, wincing internally as his usual stiff speech came out. All that work, wasted. Back to the drawing board, then. 

 

 

“You apparently thought that we wanted you to change, so you made a potion that would make you into a new person. Then, Virgil found the antidote you’d created and slipped that into your coffee to get you back to normal. And now, here we are,” Patton answered, his voice soft yet with a hard edge at the same time. Oh, an angry Patton was never a good thing. 

 

 

“Ah,” Logan mumbled. 

 

 

“Yes, ah. I sent Roman and Virgil off to hide your notes, because I do not want you doing this again, Logan. None of us ever want you to change, and seeing you acting like that hurt all of us, a lot. So please, just… stay the way you are. I promise, we all love you just the way you are, Logan,” Patton whispered. Logan felt tears pushing at his eyeballs as Patton’s words registered. Patton must have noticed, for Logan found himself pulled into a tight, comforting hug by the moral Side. 

 

 

“You’re perfect, Logan,” Patton murmured. “You’re perfect just the way you are.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, guys! I'll upload all the rest of this stuff when I can!
> 
> ~Ash


End file.
